Vulnerability vs Transparency
Vulnerability and transparency are words that are often used interchangeably but actually have different meanings. What does it mean to live vulnerably and not just transparently?
Think of it like a glass house. Transparency gives someone the ability to see inside of the house and everything that’s in it. Vulnerability invites someone and lets them move the furniture around. If we want to live in true healthy connection, we must live vulnerably.
What is Vulnerability?
Vulnerability is the “willingness to show emotion or to allow one’s weakness to be seen or known…” according to dictionary.com
For a lot of us, when we hear the word vulnerability it can bring up a lot of emotions within us. Vulnerability can be risky! When we’re vulnerable with the people around us, we’re actually inviting those people into an area of our lives and giving them permission to affect us, whether that’s positively or negatively.
Sometimes, we can view vulnerability as a weakness when, in reality, it’s actually a great source of strength. Being able to admit weakness, pain, or struggles shows a level of self-awareness that demonstrates great strength and wisdom.
What is transparency?
Transparency, while similar to vulnerability, is actually different! Transparency lets people see what’s happening or going on in your life. You’re open and honest with where you’re at, but you present it in a way that tells others to stop and not go any further. Transparency can lack any emotional risk.
With vulnerability, there’s a potential to get hurt or be misunderstood. Transparency doesn’t give others the same level of permission. It lets others look, but not touch.
Typically within relationships, you can feel the difference between transparency and vulnerability. When someone (or you) is transparent, you won’t feel the permission to give advice or go deeper on the subject. In vulnerability, you’ll know that someone is seeking help and covering as they share openly and emotionally.
Vulnerability builds connection.
“Vulnerability is the only bridge to build connection.” -Brené Brown
Being vulnerable is a beautiful thing. It creates space for us to be known and seen by others. It bridges the gap between “us and them” and cultivates connection.
Vulnerability plays a key role when it comes to building strong and meaningful connections in our relationships. When we are vulnerable, we show up as our fullest, most authentic selves. It allows people to see the real us! In this space, it tells others that they can also bring all of who they are to the table.
Vulnerability promotes and strengthens trust. Trust is the foundation of strong connections, and when you open up to someone, it can strengthen the trust between you. Vulnerability creates space for open communication and deep conversation. As we share our thoughts, emotions, and experiences others feel safe to do the same.
As we practice vulnerability, we need to remember to have healthy boundaries and limits. Not everyone you know should know the inner workings of your life! Building connections through vulnerability is a process that requires relational equity and safety. When you feel you need to be vulnerable, take note of those you trust in your life. Invite the Holy Spirit to guide you to the right person.
If you’re ready to take the next steps to deeper connections and healthy boundaries, join us for Boundaries Lab 2023 where you will learn the how, when, and why of boundaries. Click here for more information.