4 Tools for Healthy Relationships

“Two people are better than one, for they can help each other succeed…A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” -Ecclesiastes 4:9,12

We weren’t meant to do life on our own. We need the Lord and we need people! Relationships are all around us and are a part of the life God created us to live. Navigating relationships and strengthening our connections can be tricky. Here are 4 tools you can use to build and cultivate healthy relationships in your life. 

The 4 Tools

1-Communication is key!

Open and honest communication is the foundation for any and every relationship. Miscommunication can lead to unnecessary arguments and disconnection. 

Actively listening to others, truly expressing your own thoughts and feelings, and validating any emotions that may come up builds emotional intimacy. Learning HOW to communicate and resolve conflicts in a healthy way can help maintain connection and intimacy.

2-Learn to listen.

Listening is a skill that’s crucial in cultivating healthy relationships. When the other person is talking, really listen to what they’re saying. Don’t focus on what you’re going to say after they’re done or how you can “fix” the problem they’re expressing to you. Focus on what they’re saying and feeling in the moment. 

Give attention to whoever is speaking and show genuine interest by not talking over or interrupting them. We can learn a lot about someone by simply listening. 

3-Choose vulnerability. 

We all have the innate desire to be truly seen, known, and valued for who we are. But, in order for that to happen, we have to LET ourselves be seen! 

Vulnerable is something we have to choose to be. It takes a willingness to share your thoughts, feelings, fears, weaknesses, and experiences with the other person. Vulnerability takes wisdom, relying on the Holy Spirit to reveal to you what to share and when. Being open with who you are and where you’re at mentally and emotionally builds trust and creates a safe place for others to do the same. 

4-Practice understanding and empathy. 

The definition of empathy is, “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” Empathy involves really listening to others with the purpose of understanding what the other person is experiencing. 

When someone expresses their emotions to you, meet them with empathy. Know that their emotions aren’t your responsibility to take on or fix, but to validate and understand. Acknowledge what they're expressing and offer your support. 

Building and strengthening your relationships is a journey and they don’t transform overnight. But through the help of the Holy Spirit, healing your own relationship wounds, and practicing these tools, you can have strong, healthy, and long-lasting relationships.