Sounds Like a Broken Record
Do you find yourself repeatedly rehearsing the same scenarios in your mind?
Is it stealing your joy?
“Did I say the right thing?” “They probably think I’m crazy.” “I sounded so stupid when I spoke up during that meeting at work and now I’ll probably never be promoted.”
〰️
and
over
〰️ and over
Sounds like a broken record to me...
When I was 23 years old, I worked as a department lead at a high-volume retail store before I knew anything about spiritual atmospheres. The store manager pulled me into the office and offered me a promotion to a management position. I was told that management had a meeting and took a vote about who they should offer the position to. When they mentioned my name, every hand went up in the room. I was so excited to shift into something new and accepted the position as the new office manager.
I had never been in that kind of position before so I had no idea how to do my job, but management liked my attitude and work ethic. They wanted to train me, but things changed when the store manager who promoted me also got promoted to a higher position in the company and left our store just two days later.
The new store manager came into the picture and immediately had it out for me. Little did I know, that this moment would become the broken record that would play in my memory and set me on a deeper path of distrust in myself and the purity of my heart. This short, bald man sat down at my desk in my office and asked me to sit in the visitor’s chair. He began to ask me some loaded questions. “Why did you want this position?” He asked. “Because I wanted to learn a different area of the store,” I replied. He looked down at me through his glasses, “Well, you don’t think you’re going to get off the sales floor and sit back here all day do you?” I was honestly stunned and had no idea what to say. The woman training me was standing next to me and the store’s co-manager was also in the room. I felt so embarrassed. “No, I don’t think that,” I said. This man continued asking his accusatory questions, “Did you want the position because of the hours?” I felt so confused, “I don’t know anything about the schedule. I was offered this position and accepted it because I wanted to learn a new area of the store.” I remember feeling so accused and misunderstood. As I stepped into my new role, I found out that my new schedule was the most coveted in the whole store because I would no longer have to work a closing shift. The new store manager required me to continue my job as a department lead as I took on my new role as the office manager. I became fearful that I would lose my job, so I worked long hours, especially on the shipment days. I was so exhausted trying to prove my innocence and that my motives were pure to this new store manager. The other employees would negatively comment about me and my position and I would feel unworthy of the promotion I had been given.
I would rehearse their comments in my mind over and over as well as my shortcomings and how I could have done better or responded to them with a more witty answer.
I came under the store manager’s atmosphere and didn’t even know it! I thought the thoughts I was having and the feelings I was experiencing were me when it was the atmosphere my store manager was projecting. I was innocent, but my own heart was now condemning me because the familiarity of the fear of man was hindering the best of me.
Can you relate to this?
My childhood conditioned me to the normalcy of punishment. Instead of being empowered to make good decisions, my motives would undergo interrogation from my parents until they were proven guilty. This ultimately resulted in the distrust of myself and the belief that others did not trust me even in my innocence. Because I had this deep-rooted belief, the distrust continually manifested itself in my life through different leaders and I was punished not only by my leaders but also by my own heart.
The Bible says that fear involves torment and punishment.
'There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. ' I John 4:18
The punisher, satan, is building cases against you and trying to get you to take the bait!
Is the punishing spirit something you are familiar with? There is good news for you. God can take years of torment and turn them around in an instant. He is that powerful!
'I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.' Isaiah 42:16
Isn’t that comforting?
God will turn the darkness into light and make the rough places smooth for you. He will not forsake you.
When your mind is cluttered with the noise of regret and you begin to overthink your life, God’s Word will not return to you void of power. You are strong and can do all things through Christ who strengthens you.
'Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. '
A new thing is something that is not familiar to you. God wants you to powerfully turn away from the lies you’ve been believing and experience His truth for your life, but to do that, you may have to allow Him to do something unfamiliar in your life.
Is the best of you held captive by the familiarity of the accuser?
Has the sound of a broken record been playing your heartstrings? You do not have to be hindered any longer. You can be set free! Come in for a Sozo and receive your breakthrough. Our team is waiting for you with open arms.
