Loving the Unlovable
We all know that we’re called to love everyone, but that doesn’t mean it’s necessarily easy to love everyone. There will always be someone who though you’re called to love them, you want to run as far away from them as possible.
But if we look at the life of Jesus, everywhere He went, Jesus loved the unlovable. He loved those that society didn’t want, He loved those who persecuted Him, and He loved those who He knew would betray Him. We’re called to live a life like His and with His help, we can love the unlovable.
Jesus and Judas
“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” -Matthew 5:43-44
We can probably all think of at least one person in our lives who makes our lives just a little bit more uncomfortable. The truth is that difficult people are everywhere. We live in an imperfect world with imperfect people, but it’s our responsibility as lovers of Jesus to display this love everywhere (and to everyone) we go.
Take a look at how Jesus interacted with Judas. Jesus was fully aware of who Judas was and what he would do to Him in the future. Jesus knew Judas’ heart posture, He knew how Judas lived His life, and yet He still chose and loved Judas. He still chose to let Judas travel with Him, sit in on His teachings, and be associated with Him.
This is the kind of selfless love we have access to as children of God! Jesus loved with the heart of the Father and we’re called to love the same way. We don’t have to love out of our strength or even manufacture love. But rather we get to experience God’s love for ourselves and with His help, pour that love out into the people around us.
The How-To
We understand that’s important to love people purely like the Father would love them. But from a practical standpoint, how do we do that in a way that’s not out of our strength, but from a place of authenticity and surrender? Here are 4 practical steps you can take to help you love the unlovable better.
1-Pray for your heart.
First, take a look at your heart. Ask the Lord if there are any areas of bitterness, resentment, or unforgiveness that you need to let go of. Allow Him to reveal any areas where the enemy has tried to bring separation and allow His love and compassion to soften your heart.
2-Pray for them.
It’s hard to hold onto any grievances against someone when you’re honestly praying for them. Ask God what His heart is for that person and pray for them to come into a revelation of this. Pray that the Father would encounter and meet them right where they are. When we take our eyes off of ourselves, it shifts our perspectives and helps us to see things the way He would see them.
3-Push into connection, not away.
Our first instinct typically when we’re around difficult people is to push them away, holding them at arm's length. But what if we were actually meant to press in and pursue connection? Find ways to intentionally engage with these people. With the help of the Holy Spirit, using wisdom and discernment, we can better love people and show people Jesus along the way.
4-Live like Jesus.
We may be the only “Jesus” someone ever encounters. We can demonstrate the character of God through the way we love, and how we show kindness through our actions, even in the middle of difficulty. We get to choose to display the fruits of the Spirit, like patience, self-control, and gentleness, and extend forgiveness like Jesus would. Our actions can greatly impact someone else’s response and lead them to Jesus.
We don’t have to love the unlovable on our own. By His grace, we can genuinely love the difficult people in our lives and in return, experience the overwhelming and generous love of a good Father. You can love like He loves.