It is Good to Grieve.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens…a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance…”

-Ecclesiastes 3:1,4

There is space for everything to be experienced and felt here on Earth when it comes to human emotion. When we reach heaven, no more pain, sorrow, or suffering will exist. We will live in the fullness of life and joy. We have a unique opportunity to experience mourning and grief and to meet God in it only on this side of heaven. Grief is good. 

Why should we grieve? 

The definition of to mourn is, “to feel or express grief or sorrow.” Grief demands to be felt. We can ignore grief and stifle it, but it will eventually surface.

After we experience a loss, whether it’s the loss of a person, a dream that’s died, the end of a relationship, or the loss of our job, it’s important that we take time to grieve. Any significant change or transition that affects us can produce feelings of grief within us. Grief and mourning come in many different forms and the process is unique to each person. 

As we grieve, we begin to process the reality of the change. Grieving helps us to come to terms with and accept the loss that has happened. Through grieving and processing these deep emotions, we can move forward in a healthy way. 

How do we grieve healthily? 

As we grieve, we may feel a wide range of emotions. This can be sadness, anger, confusion, or even numbness. We may find ourselves low in motivation, with difficulty concentrating. We might feel extra tired or not as hungry. All of these things are normal to experience when grieving. 

It’s important to remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. To grieve and mourn will look different for each person depending on what we are grieving. Here are 3 ways to grieve healthily. 

1-Let yourself feel. 

"Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted." -Matthew 5:4

Unprocessed and unfelt emotions do more harm than good. You may think, "If I start, I won't be able to stop" or "My emotions will be too much for me to handle." Yes, that's true…when we try to navigate our emotions on our own. But, when we invite the Lord to grieve and sit with us in our sorrow, He promises to comfort us. 

Take time to identify what you're feeling and feel all of it, no matter how uncomfortable, scary, or challenging it may seem. If need you a little extra help putting words to what you're feeling, you can find the Emotion Wheel here. Invite the Lord to be with you and speak to you about your emotions. His answers might surprise you!

2-Be kind and compassionate to yourself.

Grace and self-compassion are hugely impactful as we're grieving. We don't want to be overly critical of ourselves or become introspective, looking for what we're doing right or wrong. Make space in your day to care for your spirit, heart and body. Eat well, exercise, and get the right amount of sleep. Do things you once enjoyed, like game nights with friends or reading a book. Don't neglect yourself in the process. 

3-Find your support system.

The easy (and not so healthy) thing to do when we're experiencing big emotions, like sadness, is to hide and go at it alone. We may worry that we're being "too much" or an "inconvenience" to the people around us. But, we actually need people to be with us as we mourn. We can invite them to just sit with us, we can invite them to listen, or we can ask them for help doing normal tasks that just feel like a bit too much. We might not realize it at first, but those who love us want to be there for us! They might just need an invitation. 

If grieving gets to be too much on our own, there are men and women who are there to help you find healthy coping mechanisms. You don't have to do it on your own. You can see a counselor to help you process your grief in a safe and healthy way.

Grief is a unique thing, but it is good. There is space for tears and sorrow just like there is space for laughter and dancing. Jesus Himself grieved with Mary and Martha when their brother Lazarus died, even though He knew it wasn’t forever. The Father is with you as you grieve. He is not afraid of the pain. 

If you need extra support and help as you grieve, click here to get started.