Boundaries: Why and How?
Boundaries are key to maintaining strong, healthy connections in our relationships. They come easier to some than others but are necessary for everyone.
Just like boundaries in the physical tell you where you can and cannot go, emotional boundaries in relationships are there to define what the limits and expectations are of everyone involved.
What are boundaries?
Boundaries are the limits and guidelines that one sets to protect their mental and emotional health and maintain an appropriate level of emotional intimacy in their relationships.
This involves recognizing what your own needs and desires are, asserting those into a relationship, and then respecting the boundaries of another in return.
Why do we need boundaries?
Creating and maintaining boundaries in a relationship is key to cultivating healthy and well-balanced relationships. Boundaries don’t just affect and protect one person in the relationship; they protect everyone involved.
Obviously, the boundaries we set are going to differ from relationship to relationship. Not every person you have a relationship with is going to require the same level of intimacy from you and vice versa.
Boundaries help create the safe place that’s needed in order to develop meaningful relational connections, make expectations clear, and create mutual respect between people.
How can I implement boundaries?
Reflect
Tale time to assess what your own needs, values, and limits are. It’s important that you know what’s valuable to you and what your comfort zone looks like. Think about personal space, communication, time commitments, and anything else that you prioritize in your life. This self-reflection will help you to better recognize the boundaries you need to set.
2. Communicate
Once you know what’s important to you and what you need, you can clearly communicate those needs to the people you’re in relationship with. While assertiveness is key, it’s also important to remain calm. Boundaries aren’t meant to create disconnection but instead the opposite. Come into the conversation with vulnerability and willingness to hear all perspectives.
3. Maintain
Boundaries are only effective if they’re maintained. They are not a one-time event. Boundaries require commitment and consistency. If you feel as though your boundaries are being violated, speak up and let your needs be known. Maintaining boundaries requires mutual responsibility, respect, and honor of one another.
Everyone wants to feel like their emotions are valued and cared for. Boundaries in relationships can help you get there, by allowing you to openly communicate your needs and limits. Healthy relationships involve finding a balance between individual needs and the needs of the relationship as a whole. Ultimately, setting and maintaining boundaries is about cultivating a relationship that respects the well-being and autonomy of all parties involved.