Behind the Mask
True freedom is being who God created you to be without fear. It’s being fully authentic and fully yourself without constraint. Authenticity starts with knowing who God is and who He says you are. You can read our blog about identity here.
Fear will always attract whatever information is needed to legitimize its presence. It is a connection killer and revolves around self-preservation. To avoid emotional pain, people save face by covering up their doubts and insecurities with empty confessions that deny the existence of a problem. When you are free to be fully you, there is no need to hide! Authentic faith doesn’t deny the existence of a problem behind the face of fear-driven confessions, but it denies the problem a place of influence. God can meet you where you are but He cannot meet you where you pretend to be.
Vulnerability begins with intimacy, and intimacy begins with your relationship with the Lord. If you cannot be vulnerable with God, you will not be able to have authentic relationships with people. Allowing God to see the depths and hidden pieces of your heart is the essence of intimacy and the definition of safety in the context of a relationship. Freedom comes when you allow yourself to be completely vulnerable before God. This means allowing Him to see all of your insecurities, weaknesses, and uncertainties with the intention to listen to His response. God’s response to you will always be from a place of deep connection and deep love for you. He will always uniquely and personally be there for you.
In John chapter 11, we see that Martha had a response ready for Jesus and was transparent in her interactions with Him.
'So when Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went and met him, but Mary remained seated in the house. Martha said to Jesus, “Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But even now I know that whatever you ask from God, God will give you.” Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha said to him, “I know that he will rise again in the resurrection on the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” She said to him, “Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who is coming into the world.” '
The difference between vulnerability and transparency is emotional risk. Vulnerability is the willingness to expose what is going on in your heart emotionally and through intimacy (“into me you see”) exposing your insecurities, weaknesses, and uncertainties at the risk of the other person hurting you. Transparency is being open about the facts about yourself but with no emotional risk involved. (You can read more about the difference between transparency and vulnerability here.) Vulnerability looks like Mary at the feet of Jesus weeping over the loss of her brother.
32 “So when Mary came to the place where Jesus was, she saw Him and fell at His feet, saying to Him, ‘Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died.’ 33 Therefore when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her also weeping, He was deeply moved in spirit and was troubled,”
Mary threw herself at the feet of Jesus weeping and was honest with Him. She showed Him her heart and her deepest feelings at the risk of being misunderstood! We can see that her vulnerability and honesty with Jesus is what moved Him deeply and sparked resurrection life into her crisis. Mary’s connection with Jesus was the launching pad of freedom for her entire family!
34 and He said, “Where have you laid him?” They said to Him, “Lord, come and see.” 35 Jesus wept. 36 So the Jews were saying, “See how He loved him!” 37 But some of them said, “Could this Man, who opened the eyes of the man who was blind, not have also kept this man from dying?”
38 So Jesus, again being deeply moved within, came to the tomb. Now it was a cave, and a stone was lying against it. 39 Jesus *said, “Remove the stone.” Martha, the sister of the deceased, *said to Him, “Lord, by this time there will be a stench, for he has been dead four days.” 40 Jesus said to her, “Did I not say to you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God?” 41 So they removed the stone. And Jesus raised His eyes, and said, “Father, I thank You that You have heard Me. 42 But I knew that You always hear Me; nevertheless, because of the people standing around I said it, so that they may believe that You sent Me.” 43 And when He had said these things, He cried out with a loud voice, “Lazarus, come out!” 44 Out came the man who had died, bound hand and foot with wrappings, and his face was wrapped around with a cloth. Jesus said to them, “Unbind him, and let him go.”
Vulnerability creates a free atmosphere to express your heart and it frees people up to be themselves around you as well. When self-protection is the goal in a relationship, that relationship will eventually crumble.
Are you operating out of self-preservation? Take a look at the following questions.
Overly Rigid Boundaries: Are you setting excessively strict boundaries that prevent intimacy and connection with your spouse, family or friends?
Emotional Withdrawal: Are you consistently distancing yourself emotionally from people to avoid vulnerability?
Avoidance of Conflict: Do you refuse to address issues or engage in necessary conflicts, leading to unresolved problems?
Hyper-Independence: Do you rely solely on yourself and refuse to accept help or support from healthy people?
Manipulative Behavior: Do you tend to “Beat around the bush” and fall into habits like guilt-tripping or passive-aggressive behavior to preserve your bubble?
Building Walls: Are you creating barriers that shut people out completely, making deep connections with the right people impossible?
Distrust and Suspicion: Are you struggling with suspicion and constantly doubting the intentions and actions of your spouse, family, or friends without just cause?
Neglecting Needs: Are you focusing solely on your own needs and ignoring or devaluing the needs of others in your life?
Fear-Based Decisions: Are you making choices driven by fear of being hurt, rather than by mutual love and respect?
Ultimatums and Threats: Do you find yourself using ultimatums or threats as a way to control others and protect yourself from perceived threats?
If you answered yes to any of the questions above or find yourself unable to have deep connections with the people around you, come in for a Sozo! We would love to see you walk in the freedom that Christ paid for you to have! Click here to get started.
