A New Year and a Free You
It’s a new year and with a new year comes new goals and dreams. But, did you know that only 9% of us who set New Year’s goals will actually follow through with them? That’s a shockingly low number!
While there are several reasons why we may not follow through with our goals, one big reason is self-sabotage. Many of us are self-sabotaging without even realizing it. But, with the help of Jesus and others and with self-awareness, you can overcome self-sabotage and succeed in reaching your New Year’s goals.
What is self-sabotage?
Self-sabotage is the actions we engage in that would undermine our goals or success. It’s the conscious or unconscious behaviors that we do that hinder our growth and forward movement. It can also be referred to as self-destructive behavior.
Like we said before, many of us aren’t even aware that we have these tendencies. Self-sabotage can come from many sources, but it mainly stems from our past experiences, whether it’s the way we grew up or what we picked up in relationships along the way. It’s a coping mechanism that we use to deal with unresolved trauma or stressful situations.
Many of us grew up in dysfunctional homes. This can add acts of self-sabotage. Without a secure attachment style (click here to learn more about attachment styles) you might have a disorganized or avoidant attachment style. Our earliest engagement with our parents or caregivers affects how we connect to others.
For example, if your parents told you growing up that you’ll never amount to much, maybe you handicap yourself so that you do fall short. This would be self-sabotage.
Examples of self-sabotage
Some examples of self-sabotaging behaviors are:
Procrastination
Chronic Overthinking
Assuming you Know the Outcome or the Worst
Self-Protection
Needing to be in Control
Being Overly Hard or Critiquing of Yourself
Perfectionism
Avoiding Situations that Would Push you Outside of our Comfort Zone
Self-Medicating
How to Overcome Self-Sabotage
Overcoming self-sabotage IS possible! There is nothing too big for the Lord. Jesus paid the way for us to live in complete health and wholeness in every way and this includes in our habits. We don’t have to stay stuck in destructive patterns or cycles anymore. We can live in freedom.
Take notice of the patterns you repeat. Think about your past. Are there specific areas of life where you avoid making decisions? Do you lack motivation or live in fear about pursuing even important things? The first step is self-awareness. Identifying these behaviors in ourselves is the first step toward overcoming them.
Once you have an idea of your patterns, you can get to the root cause. Ask the Lord to show you the first time this behavior or action came up in your life. What situation caused you to behave in that way? What emotion were you experiencing? Once He has shown you, ask Him to reveal to you where He was and what His truth is about the moment. What does He want you to know about the moment He revealed to you?
If you get stuck in this process, you don’t have to continue on your own. You can seek professional help, like a counselor, to help you process your past trauma, get to the root of the self-sabotage, and create a plan to help you move forward in freedom and success. Click here to get started.
God’s heart for you is for you to succeed and thrive. Jesus didn’t die for us to live a life in survival mode, barely getting by. He died for us to live in abundance in every way! You can reach your goals and live in great freedom. It’s time for breakthrough.