Don’t Go Breakin’ My Heart!
Take a moment to think about your community. Who are the people you are doing life with and how have they impacted you? Have they impacted you in a positive or negative way? The truth is, we always reproduce the environment around us that we believe is within us.
Jesus said that we are not of this world. (John 17:14-19) When we accept Jesus as Lord and Savior, we are born into a new Kingdom; the Kingdom of Heaven and we live according to the principles of Heaven. How do we live from Heavenly realities when the people in our circles are human and not perfect?
Kingdom friendships are built from a root system where the Holy Spirit is the life-giver. The fruits of the Kingdom that are listed in Romans 14:17, are evident in Kingdom friendships. Righteousness, peace, and joy are born out of intimacy with the Holy Spirit. Without intimacy with the Holy Spirit, it is impossible to have Kingdom friendships because these fruits are only produced when we are in union with Him. He is the true vine! (John 15:5 ESV) When we operate in friendship outside of the Kingdom of Heaven, friendship becomes hardship.
Here are some signs of Kingdom friendships:
Interdependence - This means mutual reliance. The friendship is not one sided and each person shares responsibility within the friendship.
Healthy boundaries - Boundaries are different from walls. The purpose of boundaries is not to control other people, but to control yourself. “I matter and you matter.” Control is not an option within a healthy friendship.
The fruits of the Kingdom are in operation. (Righteousness, peace, and joy) - Your friendships draw you closer to God and your friends give healthy feedback to point you toward living from heavenly realities.
There is no fear - Kingdom friendships involve security and safety. Healthy looks like giving feedback from a place of love and intimacy not from self preservation.
Code of Honor - Honor is the foundation on which friendship is built.
Relationships are sustained by honor. When honor is lost, it cuts off the highway of life from flowing in friendship. Honor is fueled by love and is a choice. It is not agreement but recognizes and affirms how valuable and powerful others are because they are made in God’s image. Honor is connected to the Biblical Hebrew word “doxa” which is used in reference to the word “glory.”It means to see accurately the true nature and character of someone. When we align ourselves with Heavenly realities regarding the way we see our friends, we choose to see them according to their heavenly identity and call them up according to that nature.
How do we honor our friends when we don’t agree with them or they have offended us?
Here are some practical tips toward an attitude of honor:
Ask the Holy Spirit what He likes about your friend. When feeling big emotions it can be hard to see them rightly.
Bring it up - Have the tough conversations in order to protect your friendships. Let them see into your heart and what you are truly feeling. Instead of placing blame and pointing out all of your friend's faults, use "I" statements to own what you are experiencing.
Take communion and forgive. Choose to see them through the eyes of Jesus and recognize that what Jesus did was enough to cleanse you and the person who has offended you.
You can pause and tune into the Holy Spirit. What is He saying? Be patient and listen.
Kingdom friendship happens when powerful people who are complete in Christ come together and choose each other. Each person recognizes who they are and what they bring to the table. Kingdom friends bring out the best in one another, championing each other to fulfill their God-given destinies and live in their God-given identities.
You can choose to love and honor people and prophesy the character and nature of God into your friendships. If you are having a hard time connecting with God, it will affect how you love and honor the people around you. Booking a Sozo can help you in your process toward Kingdom friendship. Click here for more information.
